Ok so where am i today? Average kinda head space i guess. Kinda avoided a relationship which is one where i would be on eggshells all of the time, which is exactly the kind of relationship i enjoy - kinda plays into my p.t.s.d. as in always heightened state, sabotaging before it goes wrong, but the biggest one was other person early in recovery, still one foot in and one foot out kinda recovery? yeah i know what your thinking ’ that ain’t recovery ’ and i agree. . it ain’t recovery but hopefully the friendship support that i have been for this person won’t get lost? I don’t think it will? We had a chat this morning and it seems to be all sorted as in we both know where we stand but kind of really ironic that i have had conversation with my therapist over me being pissed off that no-ones made a pass at me - as i am kind off blind to the subtle ways of letting me know that someone fancies me? tell me you want to shag me and i recognise that, but subtlte? haven’t got a clue on that one - what do people say in recovery? be careful what you pray for?On a more grateful note tho i am due to start a Health and Social Care course level 2 on this coming Tuesday? feck feck feckity feck? It’s starting to get real now? Still part of a new recovery community project on a couple of days a week every week? The parallels of my active addiction and what i am doing know plus the opurtunities to do prison service or/and being part of a D.I.P. team which involves walking into a police station and out on the same day without asking for bail? BLOWS MY FECKING MIND, and all of this due to being as active in my recovery as i was in my using !
So to end this little note on a proper positive note -
Thank-you To All That Have Done Recovery And Showing Me The Way Out Of The Deep Dank And Dark Suicidle Mind Set I Was In When I Entered Into My Recovery
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